Dear Suman Sharma,
(Rajasthan state commission for women chairperson)
I see your concern when you say: Girls must not visit pubs & drink… TOI pg11
But do you feel is it a right way forward, fyi I am at ground zero dealing with such issues working with girls coming out of age & seeking to live life on their will…
Banning or curbing Girl’s freedom in times of gender equality & empowerment is very impractical step… May it be an urban city or a small town…
Today you cannot stop a girl from drinking & smoking, going out to clubs & parties… Also you cannot pinpoint what is right & wrong, as your right & my right would never be the same…
But we can work together in bringing change, safer environment & at same time not restrict girls from living their life… First & foremost make girls aware of responsibilities towards themselves & the society… Make girls aware of their safety, tell them ways how they can protect them in times when they are out working, partying, drinking & smoking… Every girl should know the repercussions of her actions…
It can be achieved in following way:
1. Every girl who is out their clubbing should let one member of the family know about her plans, with whom she is, where she would be & to call her in between to check if everything is ok…
Never to forget You are most important to your family…
2. Every girl should know her drinking limits & how much she can handle without getting high or dizzy…
A girl cannot give excuses like my friends forced me, I didn’t wanted to drink but than I can’t say no to my peers or my partner etc etc…
This is purely your responsibility & you cannot blame any other person for your state…
3. If you are drinking, see that drinks are made in front of you, do not accept a drink from anyone even if you know him/her…
4. Every girl should wear what makes her look gorgeous, at a same time she should keep in mind her safety, while travelling in public transport or in uber make sure you are carrying a over coat so that you do not attract indecent eyeballs…
5. If you have a single doubt about yourself of having being drunk, do not travel in that state, call your family or a friend you trust to take you home…
6. It is not a SHAME if you cannot drink or smoke… Take pride in yourself and learn to say No if you are not comfortable with doing certain things… Be yourself…
7. Remember girls while having all the fun, you are not competing with opposite gender… So it should not be Tit for tat… You should do things that make you happy and not because you want to prove a point…
8. Your safety and dignity is only in your hands… Be careful when you play with your freedom…
9. When girls are being taughts empowerment, boys should learn to respect her in any condition & circumstances… Not to take advantage of any vulnerable or ordinary girl…
10. Banning & curbing is not always a solution, awareness & ritually following these safety measures will definitely reduce the crime rate… Making girls & boys aware from Junior colleges & high schools by conducting such programs… It is time to start educating well in advance rather than making drastic decisions… It is the need of a hour…
Suman Sharmaji & many like her who think girls should abstain from drinking & clubbing… hope you will join hands with me to make practical things possible…
I don’t drink or smoke but still I stand by and support equality & right to live by every woman & man…
Thrumyeyes…